The Dangerous Game of Financial Scorekeeping
Imagine you’re given a choice:
Option A: You’ll earn $60,000 a year, while everyone around you earns $50,000.
Option B: You’ll earn $100,000 a year, but everyone else earns $150,000.
Which would you choose?
On paper, Option B is the obvious winner—you’d have more money to spend, save, and invest.
But when real people were asked this exact question in a Harvard survey popularized by economist Robert H. Frank, many chose Option A. They preferred making less overall, as long as it meant making more than the people around them.
The Comparison Trap
It’s easy to see how comparison sneaks into everyday life. At first, you might not earn much, but if you’re doing a little better than your friends, life feels good.
With hard work, you land a promotion and a bigger salary. You trade in your apartment for a house in a nice neighborhood.
But soon, you notice that your new neighbors make more than you do. Their cars, vacations, and upgrades become benchmarks, and suddenly the progress you were proud of feels small.
That’s the trap of comparison: no matter where you are, there will always be someone ahead. True financial peace doesn’t come from superiority—it comes from autonomy. The freedom to live on your own terms is far more valuable than outearning your peers.
Shifting the Perspective
Breaking free from financial comparison isn’t about ignoring others completely—it’s about anchoring your sense of success to your own goals. A few strategies can help:
- Limit exposure to comparison triggers. Social media feeds, reality TV, and YouTube highlight the most glamorous parts of people’s lives—not the bills, stress, or tradeoffs behind the scenes (just watch this). Reducing screen time or curating your feeds can quiet those voices.
- Define “enough.” Know what you truly need to live your values and meet your responsibilities.
- Track personal progress. Measure yourself against your past self, not against others.
- Reframe success. Ask, “Is this decision moving me closer to the life I want?” instead of “How does this stack up against my peers?”
- Replace comparison with inspiration. Instead of following accounts that spark envy, choose creators who educate, encourage, or align with your values. Make your online environment work for you.
- Practice gratitude. Regularly reflecting on what you already have can reduce the pull of comparison.
At its core, money is a tool to support the life you want—not a scoreboard. The $60,000 vs. $100,000 study is a reminder that comparison often clouds rational judgment. True financial well-being comes when you set goals based on your own values and stop letting others’ numbers dictate your sense of success.